dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
