The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
