Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Welp...herpes.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize