I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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