So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
