am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
