I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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