So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
They took my balls.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
