In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
