What did we do last night that was yellow?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
