But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize