Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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