farters have to be the big spoon...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize