No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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