Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
