Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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