Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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