I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
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Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His hands were made for my vagina.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?