Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"

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  (661): So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick" http://tfl.nu/zy8y
  Replies (7) Good night (1442) Bad night (549)
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  (310): View more from California

  we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again

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  (310): we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again http://tfl.nu/lt5n
  Replies (36) Good night (4089) Bad night (667)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all

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  (980): you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all http://tfl.nu/ifyj
  Replies (24) Good night (4437) Bad night (990)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.

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  (401): after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now. http://tfl.nu/y18v
  Replies (160) Good night (13424) Bad night (1861)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.

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  (201): I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork. http://tfl.nu/8epk
  Replies (16) Good night (1195) Bad night (5256)
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  (916): View more from California

  i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget

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  (916): i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget http://tfl.nu/82uy
  Replies (7) Good night (4067) Bad night (1057)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.

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  (214): Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree. http://tfl.nu/bwsc
  Replies (11) Good night (4240) Bad night (1731)
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  (951): View more from California

  I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.

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  (951): I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad. http://tfl.nu/nyqb
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (2769)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.

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  (937): And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/r7zp
  Replies (12) Good night (1229) Bad night (3127)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?

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  (719): We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You? http://tfl.nu/a56a
  Replies (6) Good night (2173) Bad night (644)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?

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  (785): The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/iipx
  Replies (8) Good night (2473) Bad night (666)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.

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  (605): Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again. http://tfl.nu/g0yk
  Replies (5) Good night (1244) Bad night (553)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?

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  (519): Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night? http://tfl.nu/5y2j
  Replies (3) Good night (1021) Bad night (510)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves

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  (906): hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves http://tfl.nu/z605
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (315)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.

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  (202): As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring. http://tfl.nu/gw6v
  Replies (22) Good night (2019) Bad night (370)

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