Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(308): View more from Nebraska

Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.

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(734): View more from Michigan

i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He's the conductor of the struggle bus

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS

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(913): View more from Kansas

my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...

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