Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015