Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
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so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.