Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??

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  (615): yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom. (702): Bro... we didn't even hang out last night?? http://tfl.nu/2ylu
  Replies (10) Good night (2386) Bad night (866)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.

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  (406): When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up. http://tfl.nu/pzz5
  Replies (26) Good night (7967) Bad night (798)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.

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  (940): I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner. http://tfl.nu/au8r
  Replies (41) Good night (4359) Bad night (1757)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.

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  (336): I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me. http://tfl.nu/4zk7
  Replies (24) Good night (2825) Bad night (1195)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I in a dog kennel?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  It was for your own safety

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  (803): Why am I in a dog kennel? (1-803): It was for your own safety http://tfl.nu/w7ni
  Replies (27) Good night (13384) Bad night (1710)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table

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  (630): It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table http://tfl.nu/i2oz
  Replies (25) Good night (1556) Bad night (4273)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just got motor boated by a horse in the street

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  (845): Just got motor boated by a horse in the street http://tfl.nu/nm8s
  Replies (9) Good night (1723) Bad night (919)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.

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  (309): Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate. http://tfl.nu/i08u
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (512)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Boobs speak an international language.

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  (505): Boobs speak an international language. http://tfl.nu/m73t
  Replies (8) Good night (1509) Bad night (597)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.

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  (217): I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think. http://tfl.nu/6ltd
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (756)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|

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  (570): He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =| http://tfl.nu/59tx
  Replies (5) Good night (341) Bad night (1000)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE

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  (850): ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE http://tfl.nu/47vt
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (318)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever

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  (309): I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever http://tfl.nu/ei5v
  Replies (0) Good night (618) Bad night (315)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"

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  (610): Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants" http://tfl.nu/nrn2
  Replies (3) Good night (418) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep

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  (773): Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep http://tfl.nu/6ubn
  Replies (0) Good night (421) Bad night (151)

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