I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.