Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.