there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
