how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
