you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
