Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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