shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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