Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
worst night to have a conscience
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
