is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
