I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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