I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
