I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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