Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
