she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize