a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
