and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
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i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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