I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
