he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
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I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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