I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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