Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
