please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
