tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
