Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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