I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
