That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
