will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
