You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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