Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
