wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
