Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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