Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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