there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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