Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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