i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My bed smells like the plague
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
