so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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