my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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