I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
