Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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