Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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