Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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