Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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