The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
and you fell through a lawn chair
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
