No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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